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ItalianoMusings of an Extraordinarily Ordinary Man… turned clinically asexual epileptic from breath play.
Del 3
| A special thanks to all of you that participated in the discussion from my first two writings pasted below. I truly never expected so many of you to read my therapeutic journaling. However, as my partner and I have always said, the only good that can come from our disaster is helping others to avoid the same fate. Therefore, it’s comforting to know that so many people use FetLife for more than just masturbatory purposes and actually take the time to try to learn how to be safer and mitigate, and/or prepare for, their own disastrous outcome. Here's a quick recap of my journaling so far: We don’t have much control of our libido — It decides when it’s in charge. Our libidos like to do incredibly stupid shit that we periodically regret. Our confirmation bias make it very difficult to change our predispositions towards deep desires. For many kinksters, our deep desires are risky as fuck! Our confirmation bias kicks-in a second time to distort objective truth by convincing us that our deep desires are not risky as fuck. Most of us have a basic morality that inherently values life and feels compassion for people chronically suffering. However, in the community, we’re all too willing to allow luck to determine the outcome. Thereby putting our own desire to do no long-lasting harm to someone at risk. Risk awareness is an utterly ridiculous and dangerous notion given that it’s completely unachievable and inherently increases the likeliness of bad outcomes. Risk ramifications are the only relevant topic and nobody is talking about them. SSC, RACK, PRICK are objectively preposterous, along with every other inane variant of risk and consent. Personal agency, responsibility and accountability matter and pushing the financial ramifications of your stupid decisions on everyone else is immoral. Allow me to continue my journaling... Journal Entry 11 — The Kink Community is Partially & Indirectly Responsible for Killing, Maiming, and Psychologically Damaging Its Members I’ve heard people satisfying their confirmation bias by saying things like, “People are going to do kinky things no mater what. Therefore, the community’s truly impressive efforts to reduce risk and improve overall safety reduces the number of bad outcomes” — To which I say, “Are you fucking insane?” Question — Would you try something new and incredibly risky if you had absolutely zero experience or the support of a community willing to educate and train? The vast majority of you better answer “no” to that question or you’re impressively hypocritical. After all, what does nearly 100% of the community encourage and train people to never do? Answer, anything and everything incredibly risky without experience and/or piles of education and training. Heck the words, “educating,” “safe,” and “supportive” are in the mission statement of FetLife. Fortunately, the kink community is precisely what it professes to be — supportive. In fact, I’ve never seen a more supportive community, dedicated to improving safety and outcomes of its members through firsthand experience, education and training. After all, what do you think all of those websites, books, videos, classes, workshops, parties, socials, private lessons and, in some cases, Munches are, in part, if not entirely, designed to do? — They are obviously for firsthand experience, education and training. Question — Out of every 1,000 people who fantasize about something very risky and really want to try it, what percentage of those 1,000 would be willing to do it without any experience or the support of a community willing to provide education and training? I don’t have the answer either. Take a guess. 1% (10 people or 1 in 100)? 5% (50 people or 1 in 20)? 10% (100 people or 1 in 10)? My guess would be somewhere between 1%-5%. Let’s assume double that — 10%, or 100 people. I admit, probably a crazy-high number. But let’s be conservative. Question — What percentage of those 100 people, who try something very risky, with ZERO experience, education or training from a supportive community will end up with a bad outcome precisely because they don’t have the experience, education and training? Be fair. Zero experience. Zero education. Zero training. Very high risk. They don’t know about the rescue position. They’ve never been trained on it. They don’t know about wound or infection care? They don’t know that certain parts of the body are more vulnerable to permanent nerve damage from ropes, blunt impact play and etcetera. They don’t know that it only takes 5-7 pounds of pressure on the throat to break the hyoid bone. They’ve never held a whip before. They don’t have the experience or muscle memory to know how the whip will react when they’re beating someone’s chest for the first time. They could easily hit an eye. They certainly don’t know the psychological implications of stressing the mind and body with things like physical and psychological torture. None of this is common knowledge stuff. So, how many of the 100 would have a bad outcome? 10% (10)? 15% (15)? 20% (20). We’re talking about edgier play — very dangerous stuff. My guess would be somewhere between 10%-20%. But, that’s a complete guess. Let’s go with 10% or 10 people. My questions are merely establishing a foundation for my argument. Here are my conservative assumptions so far: Virtually none of us would try something incredibly risky and downright dangerous without firsthand experience and/or education and training. To do so would break every tenet of the community. Fortunately, the kink community epitomizes “supportive” and provides oodles of opportunities for firsthand experience, education and training. Out of 1,000 people that want to do something very dangerous without any experience, education or training whatsoever, 10% would, or 100 people. Out of those 100, 10%, or 10 people, would have a bad outcome precisely because they don’t have any firsthand experience, education or training. Recognize that #3 and #4 are effectively what would happen if the community didn’t exist at all. Remember, immediately we’re assuming that 90% of people with the desire would never try the risky scene if they didn’t have firsthand experience and/or education and training. If the community doesn’t exist at all, there are no websites, books, videos, classes, workshops, parties, socials, private lessons and Munches. They don’t exist. Therefore, in the complete absence of any kink community whatsoever, we’re assuming 10 bad outcomes — 10% of 10%, or 1% of the entire 1,000 people. Fortunately, the kink community is here to save those 10 people from an absolutely devastating outcome, up to and including permanent psychological damage, maiming and death. Question — Out of 1,000 people who fantasize about something very risky and really want to try it, what percentage of those 1,000 would be willing to do it WITH the support of a community willing to provide firsthand experience, education and training? I don’t have the answer either. Take a guess. 60% (600)? 70% (700)? 80% (800). I would guess somewhere between 60%-80%. Therefore, let’s be very conservative and go with only 50% (500). Question — How many more people would become interested in trying something they had never considered until they saw it on a website, or in a book or video, or at a class, workshop, party, social or Munch they attended? You know, people that never considered cutting, or branding, or waterboarding, or nailing tits to a board, or Shibariing someone’s ass to a tree in the middle of the winter until they saw others doing it? Allow me to provide an example. I never had any interest in waterboarding. Zero. Neither did my partner. I’ve never fantasized about it. I’ve never even considered it something sexually appealing in any way. But, I was into other forms of breath play. Choking — particularly foot-on-throat choking. The psychological impact of some very light drowning play sounded interesting. Waterboarding seemed like a far less risky first step. So, my partner and I decided to live by the tenets of the community and see if we can get ample firsthand experience, education and training from a community eager to provide it. My partner had seen piles of waterboardings at parties and socials. Therefore, we had a super supportive network that included firsthand experience and training from actual practitioners of waterboarding as well as a ton of education from websites, books and videos. Seriously, the community provided shitloads of support as it applies to doing something that we never would have done if not for the support of the community. How many people are just like us? What about those folks that never would have found someone to play with if not for the community’s secondary intent — to bring people together for play and mutual support? It took me 48 years to find someone to play with. And then we did a whole bunch of shit that I never even considered doing until I met my partner. Am I the only one that had darker fantasies but was too embarrassed and unaware of how to engage the community such that I could find a play partner? What about the game of oneupmanship that I wrote about in my previous musings? You know, the fact that so many of you self-report that a bothersome aspect of the community is that once somebody does something crazy, everyone else wants to try it too? How many additional people want to try it once they’ve (a) seen somebody from their core group of kinksters do it, and (b) got the firsthand experience, education and training that the community is so willing to provide? 10 more? 20 more? 100 more? I could easily see a very, very large multiplier on the number of people interested in trying something dangerous specifically because the ultra-supportive community indirectly encouraged them to. After all, one good video could get thousands of people interested in trying something different. But, again, to be VERY conservative with our numbers, let’s assume it’s 50% less than my lowest estimate of 10 additional people. 50% less would be only 5 people. Not the likely possibility of tens, hundreds, or thousands. Five. Therefore, for every person that tries something risky because they inherently had a desire to do it, we’ll assume that ONLY five more people are going to mimic the behavior despite no original desire for it. People just like me and just like my partner. That means we’re now at 3,000 people doing something incredibly risky — 500 people with the inherent desire and 2,500 people (5 x 500) without the inherent desire. Question — How effective are the community’s impressively robust efforts to improve safety and outcomes through firsthand experience, education and training? I don’t know either. Take a guess. 60%? 70%? 80% more effective? Let’s be fair in this assumption. Literally 19 of you have told me that you’ve been to waterboarding workshops, classes and/or private trainings where the instructor taught you that waterboarding can be done horizontally versus the Trendelenburg position (head lower than the feet). As my partner and I have learned from our misfortune, THAT is the #1 mistake we made — A mistake that is routinely TAUGHT by self-proclaimed “experts” and practitioners in the community — A mistake that is identified in damn-near 100% of the pictures and videos of waterboarding performed by the community — A mistake that was made by 100% of the self-proclaimed “experts” and practitioners that my partner learned from at parties and socials — A mistake that 100% of the education materials that we found from more self-proclaimed “experts” and practitioners instructed us to do.... Literally, 100% of our efforts to follow the tenets of the community, to learn from firsthand experience, education and training, INSTRUCTED us to do exactly the wrong thing. Do you think that reality applies to more than just waterboarding? If you don’t, you are unfathomably naive. What about the discussion about risk in my previous writings? The fact, that nobody knows what they don’t know. You don’t know if you’re doing the activity rightly or wrongly? Just read the paragraph immediately above this one if you disagree with that. You also don’t know what the victim is genetically, psychologically, emotionally, or physically predisposed to. Even if you do, which is impossible, you probably don’t know what activities, or aspects of any activity, will trigger a predisposition to something genetic, psychological, emotional or physical. Just take my Dupuytren’s Contracture. How many of you breath players know when your victim has the genetic marker for that? I’ll answer that for you. None. How many of you know that it only takes 30 seconds of hypoxia to activate it? I’ll answer that one for you too. None. Do you think that reality applies to more than just waterboarding? You don’t know shit about the risk. Nobody does. All you know is what a bunch of self-proclaimed “experts” and practitioners have told you. Their experiences are called “anecdotes.” You would need to include every single aspect of every single bad outcome from the activity you’re researching before you’d even come close to being “risk aware.” But, that information isn’t part of the community. It’s not on the websites, or in the books and videos. It’s not taught at classes, workshops, parties, socials or Munches. The stories of the real experts aren’t there for you to learn from because the real experts are either dead from their kink injuries or have left the community. It’s the blind leading the blind. So, back to my question... How effective are the community’s impressively robust efforts to improve safety and outcomes through firsthand experience, education and training? Without any question the effectiveness is far lower than you think, because what you’ve been taught doesn’t include the most important data points. My guess is 50%-70% more effective. But, again, let’s be VERY conservative and go with a preposterously high 90% more effective. If we’re assuming that the bad outcomes of people performing something highly dangerous without firsthand experience, education and training is 10%, a 90% improvement would equate to 1%. We’re at the end of my Socratic approach to a VERY troubling reality, if true. If 3,000 people perform a very dangerous activity.... even with the truly impressive efforts of a very supportive community, able to improve the efficacy of outcomes by 90%, you still end up with 30 bad outcomes. That’s 200% more than 10 — the number of bad outcomes if there was no kink community whatsoever. Go ahead and play with the numbers however you want. I was trying to be conservative with nearly every one of them. Particularly the multiple of people encouraged to try something they never would have considered if not for the indirect encouragement from the community through the fallacy of risk awareness, safety, and/or the game of oneupmanship. That variable is probably huge. If you move nearly any variable in the direction of what is more likely to be true, the problem gets even worse. Meaning, the actual number of bad outcomes would most likely be far higher than 30. FAR higher! Simply put, the kink community is partially and indirectly responsible for killing, maiming, and psychologically damaging its members. Don’t worry Munch lovers. Your confirmation bias is working hard to make sure what I’m saying has no merit or possibility of being correct. Nothing will change. Tomorrow, all you Tops will go back to killing, maiming and psychofucking your Bottom’s. And, all of you Bottoms will go back to your permanent suffering and dying. Such is the nature of human behavior. What a shame. |
Tillagd 30 jun 2021 Kultur- och faktaartiklar #Breath control
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